Research in suicidal behaviour shows clearly that most suicides are associated with alcohol consumption, abuse of drugs and failure to solve ones problems. This feeling is associated with each to the three main causes of suicide
1. IMPULSIVITY
2. BURDENSOMENESS
3 LACK OF BELONGING
When you are feeling under intense pressure and stress you will feel that there is no way out of the intense psychological pain you are experiencing, or the embarrassment. There are always problems and one problem that seems unresolved that can trigger impulsivity and a complete suicide.
Think of this. Most strengths are weaknesses and most weaknesses are strengths! We tend to see things in black and white from one perspective only and don't see it from other points of view. Whether we see a certain problem as good or bad or whatever, there are many many other ways of looking at the problem. Always remember that coping with problems doesn't mean we have to cope with it ourselves, always talk to someone talk to someone on the helpline or a personal friend or mate as they can help you get it solved . TRY THEM! What you possible need is to be shown how to cope with life's problems let me show you how.
Problem solving is really a simple practical technique once you learn it you can avoid self harming, and stressful situations and above all suicide .
The key here is to go through the logic of problem solving.
1. Identify the problem: Name it and clarify it. If it's a vague feeling or deep anxiety make sure you are honest with your feelings and ensure you can identify it. " Life's boring " is not very helpful, but if you think again its only a small part of your life thats boring eg " the weekend is boring "maybe. Once we can identify the big issue ie the weeknd, then together we can sort it by refocussng on alternative ways to enjoy the weekend with different people an activities. Take a break and walk in the open air and think of the fact there are so many more people like you with your problem and they are alive and well because they shared it with those who care for them and will support them through the problems solving crises.Also trust your intuition as it helps.
2. Think of as many solutions as possible:
Take your identified problem and bring it to the helpline or in person to a trusted confidante and one who you know understands your emotions.
Do a brainstorming exercise by doing the following:
1. Write down a brief description of the problem you have to solve
2. Use this description to clarify the problem
3. Suggest a solution to the problem between the two of you.
4. Make a quick note of the solution
5. Suggest another solution for plan B.
Most important ! Do not reject any of the solutions at this stage.Keep thinking of other solutions other places to go other activities to do at weekends.
Example: lack of Friends
Possible solutions;
Join another club or organization ie sports club, gym,voluntary group
Take up a language or art,or something you enjoy in evening classes
Talk openly with your mates about the problem and you may find they are
not such a problem after all.
Use the internet to make worldwide friendships
3. Taking STEPS to WIN
Select a solution, Try it out, Evaluate what happens, Persist until you feel
better. Succeed in your life ! Work at Optimism. Improve your positive
thoughts, Never give up!
Once you have found a solution you might decide to give it a go. Look
at my example for finding friends. I might not be interested in language
learning, but if I go to the local College and make enquiries it may lead
me to reconizing other subjects that I may be interested in and after I
enrol, I shall make some more friends to add to my previous depleted list.
Lets then go to the first class, everyone is looking for friends just like you And at break time all students chat and get to know each other. There you evaluate, some you like and others you may choose to ignore.You might make the first approach or they might approach you.In any case new
friendships have begun! Evaluate if there is potential here for new
experiences for travel to a new country or new life experiences.
Persist until you realize your moods are changing from pessimism to optimism!All our depressed negative thinking is learned, so we need to
Unlearn thinking negatively and change out thinking to more rewarding
Optimistic thoughts. This will influence your serotonin levels and improve mood states. Problems are not solved overnight, but having someone on the suicide helpline will never let you down and will always be there to help you persist and overcome the issues no matter how big the problem is.