Young people like you may be thinking of self harming if you feel depressed or unloved or angry, or may even dislike your figure or parts of your body. You may be looking for attention when parents don't listen to you or are otherwise engaged. You may feel a "failure " and that no one loves you. Let me give you good news ! Remember you are never a failure, never. We all have achievements and underachievements, that's normal. It's cool to say "no" as you don't have to conform with your mates just to be accepted all the time. Learn to be assertive. You have the liberty to disagree and not to conform.
Now lets show you how to think about some things around you and your problems. If you feel very negative about yourself ask your mates what do they think- as their views may be very different. Tell your parents any time you feel nervous, or afraid, or think evil thoughts. They will understand you. Its better to remember that there is always a way out of your problems so always contact someone like an older adult if you feel like this. If you prefer to talk to a stranger who is trained to understand you, and will never judge you, drop into the Mobile unit at weekendsat the River Bann bridge in Portadown ,for help and support, or drop us an email. You may also have a one to one therapy session online with the psychologist in strict confidence.
Many of your mates will introduce you to websites such as You Tube, Bebo, My Space, Second Life, etc which in addition to positive social networking, allow you access to techniques of self harm. This is not the plan for your daily life, so be brave and have courage and resist the temptation to click. Your mates and others will try to get you interested in a very plausible and subtle way, for example being persuaded into EMO(Emotional content) music which can also be destructive and lead to behave in a parasuicidal way. These sites can be very destructive, like some music your mates may want you to download. Be careful what you listen to and delete anything to do with death or suicide, satan,or demonology - as they may lead you into a life of misery, depression and a slave to drugs alcohol and other dangerous lifestyles. It's cool to say NO.
For those who self harm there are lots of help available from you G.P. Remember you are not alone. Lots of other young people who self harm have also made wrong decisions and many find help to cope with their emotions and feeling from older adults trained to understand you and accept you.
How do you do this? Find someone you can really trust- your teacher, minister,family friend or best mate. They will treat your feelings and experiences in complete confidence. In some extreme circumstances this confidence may have to be broken, but its usually uncommon. If it's late at night and you feel alone or afraid always ring your parents, they love you and will help you. If this is not an option, use your moby to ring Childline or the local Police who will be understanding and supportive. Do you really want others to see your scars when you get older because they stay on your arms a very very long time.Looking at these will make you really depressed and you would have low self esteem.
Better to not do it at all. Talking is always the best remedy. This option means you will still be attractive to opposite sex peers and emotionally ready to cope with life and relationships with your mates.
Many churches and schools have self help groups. One will be starting in your area over the coming months. Tell your friends who have problems to come along. Its free, and confidential and you will learn how to be happy and fulfilled without drugs and alcohol abuse. The idea of these self help groups is that all young people can get together for an hour and talk about their problems in a neutral environment away from parents. You learn how to cope with life,college, pressures, stress, relationships, parents and all sorts of difficulties, as it's a part of growing up.
Other ways you might explore are to talk to your GP in confidence or nurse. Some schools have nurses who call each week, they are young and will understand your lifestyle and language, so don't feel embarrassed, go for it. If you have minor injuries, then they will treat them for you and keep you safe.All these people have your interest at heart and will help you through your problem.
Appointments with professionals who work for statutory (Government)organizations may make you feel nervous, but if you have to go, try to relax beforehand, think clearly what questions you wish to ask, and jot them down in your notebook. These appointments can be very short and you have to wait weeks often months to get one,so try to get the most important questions answered to your satisfaction at the meeting. Bring along a responsible person with you for emotional support. If you are provided with several alternative treatments make sure you know how effective each one is. Counsellors are also available, but again there is often a waiting list. Our mobile caravan unit is at the riverside in Portadown on Saturday nights near midnight and it's staffed by young people like you and some older people who will help you and understand your experiences. Alternatively you can call on Friday nights at the Upper Room chill out zone opposite the snooker club at the Fair Green in Portadown. Some professional people can help you now and in the long term. Here are a few and what they do:
Psychologists: These people are doctors whose professional life is controlled by the British Psychological Society.They are Chartered and adhere to rigorous ethical standards in their relationship with you and are trained in the science of brain and behaviour.They help people talk through their problems and will never judge you.They don't give injections nor prescribe drugs. However they are trained to know the effects of most drugs on your behaviour so thy can help you get healthy again. They are highly skilled in the use of a therapy called cognitive behaviour therapy, and young people like this therapy as it corrects their faulty thinking patterns usually about suicide, drugs and /or alcohol or sexual relationships including jealousy and bullying. Some ask you to keep a diary and write down all your thoughts about suicide or other self harming behaviour's.
Community Psychiatric Nurses:These are highly qualified nurses who specialize in working with people who have problems with their thoughts about self harming and depression.The Royal College of Nursing controls their professional work.They offer practical help and advice at difficult times of your life, and help you stop harming yourself by drugs alcohol abuse or death by suicide.They work closely with Psychologists and Psychiatrists.
Psychiatrists: Doctors whose professional life is controlled by the Royal College of Psychiatrists and who are trained in diagnosing and treating the mentally ill and those with behaviour problems. They study diseases inside the brain and prescribe drugs to balance the brains chemistry. In this way they help you to overcome your faulty thoughts and help you to survive and return to normality.
Counsellors: Available almost everywhere you go.Check that they are properly qualified and are members of the British Association of Counselling which is their controlling body. They use talking and listening skills to help you work through your problems and help you to deal with it yourself.People who want to keep cutting their arms usually have to think why they are doing this and the counsellors work through the issues with the young person helping them see alternative solutions.
You will be able to see one of these people at the caravan mobile unit regularly and also by appointment or simply call into the drop in centre in Portadown on Friday nights, chill out zone where you can be yourself and we have all the time to listen to your problems.