Answer
First of all, realize you are in an emotional state and not thinking properly.
Life will go on and you will meet many other nice girlfriends / boyfriends.
It is deeply hurtful when a relationship breaks up for whatever reason.I can understand the depth of your despair and the tears you shed.This is the body's way of dealing with loss, and taking your own life is not the answer. Your mates would want you around with them for a long number of years to come, and to be able to enjoy other rewarding relationships.Look at your talents and abilities and how you can use these in time to meet other nice partners. There are many many more people out there that will love and respect you ,so be here for them.
Healing takes time and you will recover like many others.There’s always more than one way of seeing things, ring your mates now as they will really understand how you feel. Your parents will also help if you want, and they will listen sympathetically. Never bottle up your feelings. You can talk to us or email us, and I will get in touch with you soon, or ring Childline and they will also help you sort it now.

Answer
Losing a best friend is traumatic experience and a deep psychological bond has been broken. Your emotional reaction is similar to his or her parents.The most important thing to do is to get your life into perspective and talk immediately to someone who will listen to you like a close friend, and help you rebuild your life again. You may experience guilt or anger or both and these emotions need to be worked through with properly trained therapists / counsellors. Most people in these circumstances blame themselves for no apparent reason for the persons untimely death, or become angry at what they have done. Do talk to us and we will help you.There is a way through this I promise you.

Answer
First of all, the facts are that these cyber bullies have probably been bullied themselves and have no right to use the social networking sites to bully others. Report them immediately to the Networking site whether it be Bebo or Facebook or My Space, and then use their child protection guidelines as to what steps to take to stop this behaviour. You do not have to take this at all. You can switch off. Remember you are a person of worth and are valued and loved by your parents and other friends. Focus on the positive side of your life and choose mates who like you and who you like in return. You can talk to us here about how to build up self confidence and self esteem, and you can read about some of the techniques on these web pages, also we can help you build up assertiveness skills which will help you in the long term.Cyberbullying is all around us and we do have the ultimate control-switch off. We can help you develop assertive skills which will act as a deterrent to potential bullies. You have the liberty to ask them directly "Why are you bullying me"and to tell them " I am asking you to stop this ". Keep a note of the date and time and what was said to you. This could be useful later on. We will help and support you. Do use the email or phone line to contact us.

Answer
First of all, you are part of the wider youth culture where underage drinking is the norm. However this is against the law and if caught by the police drinking you will end up with a criminal record. Not worth it as it will destroy your life ambitions and goals. Secondly, young people like you have to go along with the crowd to be accepted, but it’s cool to say no at times. Your mates will respect you for being consistent in saying no to alcohol and yes to the good things in life such as a healthy lifestyle. Do discuss your problems with a youth counsellor such as contact youth or email me for help. You are suffering from what we call psychological pain and drinking / abuse of designer drugs only makes matters worse and it will not take away the real problem. Cutting will scar you for life so best not to do it. Think positive and think immediate action by talking to people who can help you get it sorted guys.Read the advice on this website and contact me for further help.

Answer
At this stage of your development your mind and body are going through changes which are caused by things going on inside your brain like chemicals making some readjustments to keep us healthy and help our bodies function healthy as a fully functioning person. One of these chemicals is called serotonin and is the “feel good” chemical. It help us to sleep and has many other functions as well. If things go wrong in our lives like losing our pet, or a family member dies or we move house to a new town, changes in this chemical causes us to feel depressed. Don’t worry if this happens to you. Talk to your local GP and she /he will understand you and make you feel better. Sometimes we feel depressed because of changes within our hormones . If you feel a low mood for more than three days tell your parents and arrange an appointment with your GP as soon as possible Depression can in most cases be cured quite quickly with little or no side effects. The GP may send you to talk your problems over with a friendly counsellor or therapist who will understand you and help you feel better again.

Answer
Never one particular thing! As researchers we have found three important factors : Impulsivity, Burdensomeness and a Lack of belongingness. Any person who has or is experiencing any of these three factors is at risk of self harm and death by suicide. Researchers in suicide prevention like us call this a constellation , because there is usually several factros which all combine in the mind of a parasuicidal person.The first one is highly associated with alcohol intake which makes you carry out impulsive acts of self harm. Those who feel they are a burden to their mates or parents might feel so low that their thinking becomes faulty and so they decide to end it all. Many who feel disconnected from their families or friends for various reasons also may act on impulse and take their own life. There is always a way out of these life problems and we are here to help you get it sorted guys. Check us out .

Answer
Teenagers live in a different world compared to us and with a different language and patterns of behaviour.Our obligation is to help them get focused by showing unconditional love and regard.You cannot do this until you focus on yourself first. Try to find a chill out time each week where you can all sit down and keep calm and controlled. Be open and honest with each other about all of your emotions.This will relieve some of the stress the more direct contact you have. Avoid distancing yourself too much from them. First inquire, ask them about their problems, “ Are you suicidal?” “Are you using drugs”. Secondly, Reassure them, teens desperately need to know that you will always love them no matter what has happened in their lives. Set limits and boundaries by negotiation with them.Let them be part of the rule setting. Keep a balanced distance from them as they live in a very private world that you might ever enter. Be an encourager to them and this will enhance how you feel about yourself and place you in control of the stressor and develop more effective coping strategies. You may email us for help and advice.

Answer
First of all don’t do it! Suicide is not the answer as it’s fatal and you die and will not come back. Yes you will and can survive it. Loneliness is experienced by millions of young people like you so let’s look at the cause of your loneliness.You may feel isolated by geographical area or by not understanding the English language here, and feeling that you don’t fit into this new culture. Perhaps you feel rejected by others. The good news is that you can have friends and must keep believing in your potential to create new friendships. Contact your local Intercultural Community Programme and the local council will give you detailed information for support groups beside you where you can become involved. Children and older adults may feel lonely and so making friends within your own community meetings and cross cultural community events will allow you to develop new friendships.Our society is fast and impersonal and promotes loneliness. Try to spend more time talking to people in your workplace or in the neighbourhood.Suggest going out for a coffee after work for a chat. I find that sometimes people who come to me for help and talk about rejection often are lonely because they have rejected others. Take free ESOL classes so as you can learn the host language and so make more friends easily This community needs you.

Answer
There is a way out of this crises.You are possibly living beyond your means and need to make major readjustments to survive. Your emotional coping mechanisms have failed as they were not there to start with. Make an urgent appointment with your building society and bank in confidence, being proactive will reduce the immense anxiety you both have.Both managers with work out a survival plan with you and get your thinking stabilized. This means being realistic about your expectations and your girlfriends also. Be open and honest with each other about your emotions and anxieties and talk directly with each other about what you need to do to keep your relationship going and a house over your head. Selling and moving into a smaller semidetached may be a solution and keep anxieties at bay, and do you really need a credit card if it’s a temptation and you really cannot afford it and don’t really need it.? Cut up all credit cards and this will reduce your anxieties. Better to use a debit card and keep control of how you spend.

Answer
Chronic depression is associated with most forms of physical disabilities and post surgical recovery. First get your illness / disability into perspective.
You have an equal opportunity to be employed and participate in a positive
way in our community. Focus on the achievements you have made to date and concentrate on your strengths and other skills you have brought here.
Perhaps teach others with disabilities your native language or traditional crafts and join some college classes, you may even suggest running a class in your adult education college department. Many people with severe disabilities have senior positions in Government and the Public Sector. Challenge your pessimistic thinking and change your thoughts to optimism and you will overcome these depressive episodes. Contact your local GP if these suggestions don’t help or email us for further help and support.

Answer
I can certainly help you but do email us for further detailed advice.You can ring us on one of the telephone numbers. First take her into your confidence, love and accept her unconditionally. Listen attentively and with alertness and show her that you understand why she is self harming. Cutting has the objective of bleeding and this is a release of the deep intense psychological pain. Self harmers often say that their problems are trivialized by helpers and their mates, and you now have to cope with your own emotions besides your sister’s emotional turmoil. Self injury is a quick fix in that it immediately gratifies- by temporarily ending emotional distress. Help her to explore other ways of releasing psychological pain by talking to her GP who will really help and offer immediate relief to the suffering. The Child and Adult Mental Health team will also support you and her. Self harming is complex and an individual response to a specific life problem.Make them feel safe and secure as they often feel marginalized and isolated.Learn to empathize with the person maybe you can spend a week with red streaks on your arms and stay with your mate and experience the reactions.Discuss with your sister how you feel as a result of exposure to the public with red streaks on your arms. Get inside their world, help them create an environment conducive to recovery. Make the surroundings less compatible with cutting. Get rid of access to razor blades and all sharp objects. Cognitive behaviour therapy may be appropriate ,but ask her GP when you visit. Also read my webpage on Optimism and Pessimism which may help in the first instance.

Answer
Life is boring for millions of people and I understand your anxiety and sense of helplessness and hopelessness. Lets get this sorted ! First talk to your best mate and closest friends and tell them exactly what depresses your moods. Keep talking. Remember alcohol is a major depressant so try to avoid it as it only worsens the depression. Look at like this. You are thinking in a tunnel vision manner. Think of the alternatives, and have you thought of the fact that if you stack the shelves neatly and do your job better than anyone else, you will be noticed by management and could be promoted to supervisor, and then after further training, to assistant manager and then manager! Most managers started like you. Then think about getting more qualifications as you can then earn far more money and compete for better jobs or careers. Go and talk to the careers advisers near you and even consider going to work in a new country or a year and get experience.Your moods will definitely disappear. Your depression is caused by environmental causes and stressors, and is called reactive depression. If you focus on these strategies you will remove the stressor /cause and ultimately see that life is for living!

Answer
I understand your problems and let’s see how we can sort them. Avoidance is not the answer, nor is alcohol or doing the drug scene.This will make a mountain into an earthquake later on. Stay cool and let’s face the problems like this. If you avoid the problem it only deepens your anxiety and
psychologically, avoidance creates new problems on top of the old. Try to acknowledge the difficulties and that you need others to help you get it sorted. They will help you I promise and you will feel happier. Establish the facts first
and then place the most important ones top of the list and so on until you have completed the list. Deal with each problem one at a time, ask others to help you such as your parents /guardians, GP, Childline, Social Services, or
report it to the police if you feel you may be harmed in any way. Avoiding a problem creates fear and constant anxiety, and this fear worsens if you do nothing about it. Discuss with your best friend or older sister / brother in the first instance. Ask yourself what it is that is causing you to fear? What is the worst thing that could possibly happen? The chances are that you will never have this experience. Think of your feelings, and ask “what part of the situation is making me feel afraid or scared?” Can it be removed or taken away? Next thing to do is make predictions carefully. Are you expecting the worst thing imaginable to happen? Remember how valuable you are and read my strategies for problem solving on the other web page for immediate relief and assistance.

Answer
Hi Guys! First of all realize you are people with intelligence creativity emotions and feelings just like millions of others. Ok -Your parents are not on your radar beam and chemical romance will terrify the life out of them ! Do remember the basics of human functions- they are your parents and you are becoming more indpendent as you search for an adult identity. They are living in a different time frame and speak a different language than your mates, but above all others - they love and care for you more than you will ever know. First get things into perspective, they cannot understand your music nor lifestyle because both you and they alienate each other with no communication between the two. Get a time that suits you both and have a good heart to heart talk . Make this a regular meeting once a week to start with. Talk openly and honestly with them and show them respect and you will get respect in return.Explain EMO in a way the will understand,even have a laugh with them as you both watch the DVD's. Make it clear to them that you feel they are stereotyping you and your mates in a derogatory fashion, and its all about fashion trends and music tastes and not suicidal lyrics. Reassure them that the lyrics do not cause you to think of self harm and if it does then contact me directly and have a chat we can sort it quickly. It also would help if you help them to understand your musical tastes loud music but draw up a compromise and end the conflict.Encourage them to meet your mates and discuss their families and backgrounds, education careers and so on.This will make everyone more at ease an should solve the problem We are always here to help and support you.

Answer
First lets be honest about the situation.If you start afresh again and get good qualifications in a totally different college such as Further Education , you will get focussed and have a real purpose and reason to live and be happy. Why? because qualifications helps you meet positive friends with positive experiences in college., and after you qualify ,up goes your income levels as you earn much more that someone who has not been to university. Heres a sort of plan you might think about.
Go down and enquire about improving your GCSE's or AS/A2 levels. What about a career in Marketing, Nursing, Business & Finance or administration? Have you thought of becoming a fashion designer? Many girls and guys are now going into engineering, quantity surveyng and serving in the Royal Air Force, Army and Navy for a secure career. Perhaps you might like working as a chemist with drugs, or a career as a solicitor or a barrister?Think about NVQ's and BTEC courses and Access courses besides A levels.Gaining knowledge means you are doing something worthwhile with your life and time and planning a successful career for the future. Its cool to get knowledge so whats stopping you now? Go for it.

Answer
Yes we can help you to overcome this ongoing crisis. Farming is a career where you now have little or no control over how you run your farm.Your depression could be the result of mounting veterinary bills, increased costs of milk production, animal welfare and crop maintenance.Economically, the immediate future is bleak and your constricted thinking means that you are continuously reinforcing your own negative thoughts and this is making your depression much worse.
I presume you have seen your GP and explained to him/her about your anxieties. If not make an appointment straight away. This is the first step. Now lets get real and plan a survival strategy here. You need to sit down with a close friend who empathizes with you, maybe another young farmer, and explore alternatives. If you are not enjoying farming or see it as a constant pressure zone, then you must seriously consider a change of career to survive psychologically.My immediate advice is to talk to your local College and explore new careers which can utilize the current skills you already have.For example, you know lots about animal welfare, have you considered being a veterinary assisntant? You have technical and mechanical experience , why not consider training in electrical or mechanical subject areas. Refocussing on training for a new secure job with good career prospects will lessen the psychological pressure and will give you optimism regarding the future.Your income will be guranteed each month and you will get control back into your life. Change is not easy, but you have to face the realities of modern day living.
By acting on this advice , you can increase your self worth and self esteem, and actually enjoy living once more. Read my advice sheets on this site and have a look at the links for more advice and emotional support. Console are excellent if you live in the South of Ireland as are the Samaritans and there are many other mental health organizations in the telephone directory.In Northern Ireland the Ulster Farmers Union will help you with their special helpline.
In any case do stay in touch.

Answer
First of all I am so sorry to hear of your current state of depression. Let me assure you that even though you have experienced the intense deep emotional pain and heartache, it may in the long term have positive outcomes, much better than you have ever imagined possible. We are all very human and our brains are wired to react to emotional pain shock and even trauma. Dont blame yourself exclusively for the breakup. Relationships are demanding and require a combination of skilled performance in many different areas of human behaviour and in personality.The fact that you are now single can be a relief as you could have been trapped in a marriage with children and it could have been reflected in low self esteem and you could experience a threat to your identity.Lets focus now on finding a trusted friend or colleague , one you can share your inermost thoughts with and who will love you unconditionally across all situations. Talk about your feelings and psychological pain and take time to allow healing to take place. Write down all your negative pessimistic thoughts and then challenge each one looking for the hard evidence.Usually there is none.Think in terms of positives and in finding a new partner over time. Choose wisely, he may be closer to you than you think and in the long run may have more to offer you in terms of genuine love understanding acceptance and security.Remember you are unique loved and special and as valuable as the next person.